we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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