so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
