wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
