2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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