Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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