I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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