I think I am morally bankrupt
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize