Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
