Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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