arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
