I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So squirting runs in the family.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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