Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
