He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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