I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
