are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
