woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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