Is it because I queefed?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
