covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
