I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
