Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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