just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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