don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
