is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
