i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
