Just fell off a train. Bad.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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