There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
