Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
