Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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