Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
