i think my mom watched the whole time
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
