Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Randomize
