Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
