You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize