We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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