Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
