did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
