The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
