It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize