There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize