Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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