You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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