We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
