Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
