are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
