stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
