I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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