i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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