How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dicks are not precious.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
