You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
