it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
