hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
