I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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