We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
