she was so not down for the gang bang
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
