I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
