Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
