i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
