Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
