You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
