Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
